our swingin' pad

If you will indulge me: one of the worst parts of moving is that period after you're in but before the cable (let alone internet) has been hooked up.  Nothing this time compares to my last move, six years ago this past summer, when the only two stations we could get in with the rabbit ears were the local NBC and CBS affiliates.  Night after night they were showing nothing but season one of Big Brother and the Olympics, respectively.  Yup, nothing to choose between but "Chicken" George losing his shit or gymnastics, every freaking evening.  God, I hate reality tv and the Olympics.

Like I said, nothing that bad this time, though enough to make me feel grateful when one of the Law and Order franchises came on, even the skeevy Law and Ordern: Snuff Films Unit or whatever it is.  Stuff like that at least was better than the non-stop crap CBS shows.  I was sort of dimly aware of this, but a few days watching brought it home more clearly: CBS targets the stupid demographic.  How else to explain something like Vegas?  The mix of storylines, some lighter, even attempting humor, while the main arc deals with a straightforward action scenario, wasn't exactly unfamiliar--it's pretty much standard fare.  Perhaps it's the stress of trying to combine both a boosterish view of Las Vegas as a family destination and Sin City that makes the show so bad.  Vegas, the town where they'll do their darnedest to see you have a good time--unless you cross them, then they'll whack you The Vanishing-style.  A problem of tone, if you will.  My favorite sub-plot, however, involved a Buddhist monk visiting the casino to teach a member of the staff that only by losing everything could one hope to begin to find happiness.  Someone I don't think that's a lesson the real Vegas usually teaches, but would probably like to.  Thanks, I think I'll just stay home.

Jonathan Richman - Our Swingin' Pad

Comments

[m]

i LOVE gymnastics. and figure skating.

[JL]

But what about Big Brother?

[The Modesto Kid]

"Law and Order: Snuff Films Unit" inspired a belly laugh from this reader.

[Dan]

> CBS targets the stupid demographic. How else to explain something like Vegas?

I do believe Las Vegas is on NBC. NBC gets a pass, though, for also having the best show on network TV. 30 Rock isn't half bad either (what I've seen of it). And Law & Order: SFU gets props for simply employing the inestimable Christopher Meloni.

CBS, on the other hand, is the home of non-stop hour-long police procedural action.

Between 3 flavors of CSI, NCIS (a star vehicle for Mark Harmon (Summer School)), Without a Trace, Cold Case, NUMB3RS (Dr. Joel Fleischman + famed Hollywood That Guy David Krumholtz = huh?) and Criminal Minds (because Mandy Patinkin needed a show), I can't see how they could possibly air anything else. Do they? I don't think I've ever watched a single full episode of any of these shows.

The explanation for Las Vegas, though? It's TV drama for the Stuff Magazine set. If you're looking for a real analytical challenge, try explaining the existence of this. (You can't.)

[JL]

I do believe Las Vegas is on NBC

Damn. You're right--it's right there in the first paragraph of the page I linked to. I am the stupid demographic!

I can't watch The Office--too much theater of cruelty for my taste. But I wouldn't go around praising L&O franchises and then speak with disdain of police procedurals if I were you.

I saw Criminal Minds! It was really bad. Does CBC air anything but cop shows? Not sure; what network is Jericho on? Whoo, a post-apocalyptic western--I bet that show's killing.

You know too much about network tv. Go watch some shows about redecorating the living room in two days or the daily lives of little people or something.

[m]

no. i hate most reality tv. except for 'what not to wear' the make over show which is not really reality tv. and i ve been known to watch the 'its my wedding' show since, well i am lame.

also the one of the figure skaters was in las vegas. the little one that looks like 'summer' from the OC.

i also like meloni. but i hate d'onofrio.

[Dan]

> I can't watch The Office--too much theater of cruelty for my taste.

I'd call it more a theater of awkwardness. I do have to switch the channel or walk out of the room on occasion to avoid squirming in empathetic embarrassment, but the writing is really sharp.

> Does CBC air anything but cop shows? Not sure; what network is Jericho on? Whoo, a post-apocalyptic western--I bet that show's killing.

I remember seeing ads for Jerico early on and thinking, "Skeet Ulrich? Really?" But I do recall more recently seeing a positive review for the show. Still: haven't seen it.

Above and beyond the shows I mentioned above, CBS also has a couple legal dramas: Shark (staring Quahog's own James Woods) and some show called Close to Home that I've never even heard of.

And none of this is to neglect Jennifer Love Hewitt in The Ghost Whisperer, which the network brags "helped vault CBS into a position of prime-time leadership on Fridays among adults aged 18-49 and 25-54."

This is me weeping.

> You know too much about network tv.

And this is barely touching on the shows I've actually seen.

I suffered without cable for a stretch of years a few years back. The one thing I do miss is Chicago's broadcast channel 28. It featured Korean programming most days (and magically turned into MTV2 at midnight). Sunday mornings, however, until about noon, it was all Indian programming, starting with hours of Bollywood videos interspersed with ads for psychics and Devon Ave. groceries, and later cutting to an English-language dating show called "Close Up Close Encounters" from an Indian music video channel.

It was classic Dating Game format (bachelorette questioning a trio of a bachelors), with the occasional music-related twist.

E.g., the bachelors would dedicate a video of their choosing or, better still, karaoke a love song. A strange mix of musical choices there (indicative, I think, of the lag time in the international propagation of American culture): a lot of U2 and Richard Marx.

> i also like meloni. but i hate d'onofrio.

Meloni is a hilarious piece of man meat who's pecs practically beg for an I'm-not-gay-but qualifier.

D'Onofrio is a self-impressed overactor (sp?).

(This is quite a long comment, huh? I should probably just get my own blog or something.)

[JL]

OK, I'm gonna need some time to take that all in. But we're all agreed: D'onofrio is unbearable.