Modern Kicks

the world is tref and grief too astray for tears

I imagine you have heard the terrible news.  That this will take some getting used to is an understatement.  I thought 2006 was bad, not to mention 2007, but this?  Dear lord.  Speaking of 2007, would it have killed the NFC to send up a representing team on the verge of implosion with a quarterback who had completely lost his game in the latter half of the season?  Was that too hard to do a second time?  Goddamn Mannings.  I guarantee you one thing: Eli will never will another Super Bowl.  I don't know if the Patriots will--I expect a lot of changes on the defense after this year, and who knows what the impact will be--but Manning?  Never.  Now if you'll excuse me, I have to resume ignoring all news media while lying in a fetal position and moaning.  I do hope to write on other topics today, but I've still got some stages to go through--as this post probably shows, I'm still mired in anger, although there have been moments of bargaining as well.  But don't get me started on the dreams I had in which the Patriots somehow won, all ending with the realization that, oh no, that's right, they lost.  Over and over again.  Blah.

. . . Updating, Jeremy Shockey had an impressive number of glasses on the bar in front of him when the camera cut to show him watching the game.  Not that they were necessarily all his, of course, but it certainly looked like most of them were.  And oh, I think I link to and remark positively on stuff over at the Globe's website often enough to say screw this feature.  Dancing with the Stars?  The Beanpot?  You put this up the morning after the Super Bowl?  WTF?

More: "haven't watched too many games"?  And people complained about bandwagon Patriots fans.

message

Fuck, yeah.

That is all.

break out the smallest violin in the world

Some clown over at SI:

Maybe it says more about us than it does about you, Bostonians, but you were far more likable when you were long-suffering. Winning all the time might be fun, but it's not nearly as charming. We felt for you when you would face another bitter winter after the Sox had found one more agonizing way to lose to the Yankees. We enjoyed those long, melancholy odes to despair that you would produce as the Celtics floundered in the post-Larry Bird years. Writers such as Stephen King and Doris Kearns Goodwin turned Boston's mystique of losing into something grand, something literary.

Well, boo-hoo.  Let me tell you something: literary is overrated.  I could go on, but why bother when the bottom line can be found written on an old pitcher?  Yeah, that's right.  Now go get you and your loser dust out of here.

seen your video

Michael Wilbon, caught up in the hysteria:

Normally, I tune out Dolphins linebacker Joey Porter completely, but he made a great point the other day when he told reporters in Miami: "People take a supplement that has a little more than caffeine in it and they call that cheating and suspend you for four games for that? But these guys are videotaping our signals from the sideline? New England went from not being a good team to being a powerhouse. Now I have a question."

You should have trusted your instincts, Michael, and not listened to Joey.  In 2001 the Patriots were four years removed from winning the AFC and going to the Super Bowl, and three years from the playoffs.  They had declined to a bad record in 2000, and then got pasted by the  then-pathetic Bengals and Jets in the first two games of 2001.  What did that record coincide with?  Hmm, why, the Pete Carroll years and a the fading of a quarterback who (sadly) was rapidly losing his status as a top player.  During that Jets game, through circumstances no one would wish for, New England got a new quarterback and--surprise!--started winning again.  I loved Drew Bledsoe back in the day, but really: the fact that when we moved to trade him, no one would take him showed that everyone in the league knew what he'd become by that point.

But no, no, no, Wilbon's not at all taking part in a massive overreaction fueled by schadenfreude and opportunism--not when he babbles that "It's one of those cases where the league could have justified making the punishment bigger than the crime" and argues for a $10 million dollar fine against the team.  Fortunately we have a Commissioner who actually seems to have looked at what penalties teams have suffered in the past, embraced the radical idea that the punishment should fit the crime, and acted accordingly.  Now the Patriots can get back to beating everyone--starting (please god) on Sunday night.

the spooky short game

Monster Mini Golf, y'all.

Because why spend your end-of-summer holiday outside in the perfect weather when you could be under black lights?

or "making it rain," for that matter

On a day of notable deaths, leave it to Kissing Suzy Kolber to come up with the best line in an obit post:

Bill Walsh died today. And I thought it would be a nice idea to pay tribute to a guy who helped make the NFL what it is now. Except for the dogfighting. He had nothing to do with that.

Perfect.

grim light of afternoon

Well, that stank.  Now how am I supposed to watch SportsCenter for the next two weeks--possibly longer?  Really, it was sort of a freebie for us--if you had asked any New England fan during the season if they thought their team would be playing in the AFC Championship game, the honest answer would have been a resounding "No."  The expectation was always that the Pats would win their division, crush some wildcard team in Foxborough, and then go lose in the divisional round on the road to one of the real contenders.  Sure, there was always the thought that once the playoffs started, anything might happen, but the most likely outcome seemed clear.  And it was hard to be too upset, after all our good fortune of recent years.  That the shot at number four proved a tease doesn't bother me so much--not as much as the way it happened, at least.  Or who benefited.

wouldn't be seen dead in no (red) sweat shirts

There's been a lot of people this past week wondering why the Patriots moved away from the run in the second half against the Colts, how Bill Belichick could get outcoached by Tony Dungy, in Foxboro, against a successful but suspect Colts team.  I told Dan what I thought the underlying problem was, and I'm happy to see Bob Ryan take it public.  Tough love is what it takes sometimes:

The Patriots have to do a little more than just show up to win what we regard as gimme games. Someone has to come up with the game plans and prepare the team. That someone is the guy in the sweat shirt, and on that topic I know I speak for hundreds of thousands when I say that Coach Bill must stop messing with the karma and go back to the old reliable gray sweat shirt. Take that red one from last Sunday and torch it, Bill. That's an order.

Preach it.  Belichick's gray (sometimes brown, I think) sweat shirts are more than they appear.  They are symbols of a monastic devotion to the Xs and Os, to a lack of unconcern with the things of this world in pursuit of higher goals within the hash marks.  Last week--oh, just look at him: the Obi-Wan of the Patriots, transformed into an aging member of Duran Duran.  That is not the sweat shirt of victory; that headband will never bring New England a Lombardi trophy.  Someone please intervene.

so awesome

Kornheiser, on Monday Night Football regrets:

The Green Bay Packers' secondary stinks. Can I put it in any plainer terms? They stink. So far this year, they've given up touchdown passes of 49, 26, 35, 37 and 42 yards and, against the Eagles, they gave up 45- and 30-yarders to Greg "See Ya in Canton" Lewis, who has had all of one in his three-year career. I kept thinking about something A.J. Hawk, the Packers' rookie linebacker, said Sunday evening when we were talking to him about the defense. In an attempt to praise them, he said, "They're really vocal back there."

And I wanted to use that and scream, "Really? What does that mean, 'they're vocal back there'? Were they shouting, 'Look out, here comes another big touchdown on us!'? " For whatever reason, I didn't say it and I should have shouted it.

"They're really vocal back there."  Can't.  Stop.  Laughing.

not paying attention

While catching up, I have to ask, who was it who wrote that "after last year, I'm not inclined to complain about a secondary of Harrison, Hobbs, Samuel, and Wilson"?  'Cause, you know, maybe that person should start to consider complaining.  Not panicking, but complaining.  Especially with next week in Cincinnati, yeesh.  This is starting to look like last year, despite less reason to in the secondary, though perhaps more on offense.